Ashley Tries Tee and Jeans

This was a busy week, so I wanted to simplify all my fashion decisions.  What could be simpler than starting every outfit with a t-shirt and jeans?  It’s a great blank canvas.

Day 1:  Fancy

I like to dress up a little bit on Mondays – it helps jumpstart the week.  I started off with an embellished black tee with some gather details and scattered embroidery.  It’s a swing shape, which means it fits through the shoulders then floats out from there.  Since the t-shirt was on the looser end, I picked out jeans in a fitted shape (to contrast with the looseness of the top) and in a dark wash (to keep the whole outfit feeling fancy).

I was much more aware of my shoe choices this week.  I tend to spend more time picking out my clothes, then grab shoes on my way out the door.  Since I themed my clothes with simplicity in mind this week, it gave me a little more time to think about shoes and accessories.

I went with some of my very fanciest shoes – black, gold, and cream heels that can easily overpower an outfit.  With jeans and a nice t-shirt, the shoes got to stand out in a good way.  Along with a simple gold chain necklace, that was the extent of my accessorizing, but the shoes pack a punch.  The complete outfit pleased me, because everything worked together and balanced out.  The shape of the jeans balanced out the shape of the top, the colors in the shoes mimicked the colors in the top.  It felt polished without any layering required.

Day 2:  Faded and Soft

Since I went for a more polished look on Monday, I wanted to focus on a soft, lived-in look for Tuesday.  The top has a breezy soft feel and a gray-and-white stripe woven into it.  It’s one of those rare, beautiful, and elusive creatures, the well-designed neutral tee.  If you see one of these creatures, capture it.

I picked soft, faded jeans and layered on a white jersey cardigan.  I wanted the outfit to feel like a flower that’s starting to fade, when the edges start curling and the petals soften.  My scuffy brown Oxford shoes and pale brown glasses kept everything in that same light neutral color palette.

The outfit was nice on its own, but it was an especially lovely background to highlight my favorite summer scarf.  There are a lot of colors on the scarf – the background is peachy pink and the foreground pattern is a bright blue and orangey red floral.  It was from a sidewalk sale in France and it’s one of my favorite things.  If there’s something you love to wear, create an outfit around it!

Day 3:  Pattern Mixing


A simple starting point doesn’t rule out a bold statement.  A green-based geometric print t-shirt and dark skinny jeans became the starting point for this outfit.  

The weather was chilly and rainy, so I needed another layer.  I love blazers – they take the same amount of effort as sweatshirts, but look way cooler.  So instead of a sweatshirt or a plain sweater or a jean jacket, I went for a print blazer.  

The print combination dazzled and disoriented the eye.  Pretty prismatic.  Bold to the point of foolhardy.  The only reason it kind of worked was the dark jeans and shoes.  I went for a bolder shape on the shoes- they have cutouts and peep toes, but they are black, so they didn’t add to the pattern craziness.  

I enjoyed this outfit – it didn’t feel like a typical t-shirt and jeans outfit, but it didn’t require extra effort.  It just required extra confidence.  It is easy to equate simple with safe or boring, but it doesn’t have to be either one!

Day 4:  Smiling Sushi


I found this smiling sushi shirt at the Salvation Army and I immediately loved it.  It has probably become obvious that I like some eccentric clothes… this one is pretty out there. But it fits great, it seems brand new, and it feels nice.  

Since the shirt was so different, I decided to opt out of the typical blue jeans, and go for a burgundy skinny jean.  They’ve actually been a very versatile pair of jeans for me.  I highly recommend a non-blue pair of jeans.  

This outfit was just a tee and jeans, but it lots of personality, thanks to the details and color.  Smiling sushi can make any day happier!

Day 5:  Layering on the happiness!


The aforementioned Salvation Army visit resulted in a lot of prints, including a button down shirt in a super-bright / bird-of-paradise / tropical print.  I adore a tropical print and they are very on trend right now – Dolce and Gabbana released a haute couture resort collection based around a custom tropical leaf print last year, etc.  

It’s a lot of print, so I kept it open and layered it over a black tee.  That breaks up the print and the black grounds all the bright colors. 

Dark ankle-length jeans and pointy black flats gave it a little 1960s vibe to me.  Like Gidget Goes Hawaiian or something.  

This week was a great palate cleanser – getting ready made easy!  I found myself focusing on one thing in the outfit (shoes or a scarf or a print).  The framework was all set up, then it was easy to infuse personality into the outfit.

In Betweenness

Sweet

 

When I was little, we had The Wind in the Willows on tape.  Almost every night, my sisters and I went to sleep listening to Mr. Mole abandoning his whitewashing and escaping his underground burrow to obey the call of spring.  I heard this description from Kenneth Grahame so many times, it has become the way I think about waiting for a new season:  “Spring was moving in the air above and in the earth below and around him, penetrating even his dark and lowly little house with its spirit of divine discontent and longing.”
Right now, I am longing for spring.  I catch glimpses of it – a warmer breeze, patches of green under the snow, longer days.  But the snow keeps falling and my heart falls with it.  How do you handle the space between what you have and what you want?
This doesn’t just apply to waiting for spring (I’m not ignoring my California and Texas friends).  This can apply to any in-between/transitional stage.  The exercise-and-eating-better stage between the size you are and the size you want to be.  The waiting stage between the job interview and finding out whether you got the job.  The last quarter before school ends. The last trimester of your pregnancy.  My personal least-favorite is when I know that I want a change, but I don’t know what exactly I want.  I looked up the definition of ennui (a wonderfully descriptive French word) -it is defined as “a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement.”  Yup.  That sounds about right.
The irony is that the Divine Discontent & Longing stage isn’t a great time to make big decisions, because any change seems like a good change.  Save the major changes for a moment when you aren’t going slightly mad.  The “don’t go grocery shopping when you’re hungry” principle applies here.  An emotional decision feels good at the time, but it doesn’t always have the best long-term result.  Wait until a more content moment and make a disciplined decision.  I know you don’t like any of your clothes right now, but don’t throw out your entire wardrobe.  You end up with no clothes.  It’s easy to want to get rid of things, to tear things down, to run away to something else – but it’s a good time to build, to learn, to be creative.
Here are some ways to fight the onset of ennui during those waiting days:
1.  Rediscover your favorite things.  Turn on great music you haven’t listened to in a while, look through your closet, and find a few items that have great memories associated with them.  Happy memories fuel us.  A special piece is almost like wearing a Patronus charm.  I have a special place in my heart for clothes that I bought traveling, because they transport me back to where I was when I bought them.  Inherited clothes are also really special.  I have some beautiful necklaces and clothes from my grandmas.  Clothes are emotional, because they are so personal.  After my wonderful Grandaddy Leonard passed away, all the grandchildren helped go through his clothes and it was a perfect time to remember his everyday life.  I took one of his sweatshirts – it doesn’t look like much, but it reminds me of him and there’s love and comfort in it.
2. Change your perspective by trying something new.  Be bold.  I get to February/March and I’ve been wearing my winter clothes for so long, I need to change it up.  I start mixing the patterns I’ve never mixed, I start layering shirts over dresses, I try to change the shapes of my clothes by belting, I wear boots to get through the snow and then change into fun shoes when I get to work…. I’ve never dyed my hair, but this is always the point in the year where I start thinking about it.  If you want to try a new wardrobe without buying it, swap some clothes with a friend – chances are good that they want to try something new as well!  This isn’t clothes-related, but going somewhere new can be great for gaining some perspective.  Clear a Saturday and go find somewhere new.  It doesn’t have to be far away, just out of your ordinary routine.  Adventure is a good tonic.
3.  Moneyball it.  This is a phrase I use all the time when I’m talking about clothes, but I realize that it doesn’t make sense to anybody else.  I’ll try to explain – it probably still won’t make sense, but here goes.  In the movie Moneyball, the manager of a baseball team loses a star player and decides to not to replace him with another star player that has all the same strengths, but to replace him with a group of players.  In the aggregate, their strengths add up to the strengths of that star.  Have you been inspired by an outfit recently?  Using what you’ve got, try to replicate what you want.  It’s a really fun exercise, because it forces you to be creative.  Like peplum tops?  Create that look by layering a short top or cardigan over a longer top, then knotting or belting the short top at your natural waist.
4.  Wear bright colors.  When it’s gray outside, I need the contrast.  I’m a contrarian by nature.  I wear bright colors in the winter, because everything neutral outside (black, white, gray, brown).  I don’t feel as much need for bright colors in the summer – I’m happy to just wear a black tank and jean shorts.  When I really want spring, I start wearing a mix of spring and winter clothes (I still have to be warm enough).  I’ll wear a navy sweater, a bright floral skirt, tights, and boots.  A pastel sweater with my jeans.  A spring dress over a long-sleeved t-shirt.  Anything that adds spice and variety.
5.  Try different accessories.  This is another great thing to team up with a friend on – swap scarves or necklaces or earrings.  I’ve been alternating between two pairs of boots all winter (because snow), and sometimes I bring cute shoes to change into for the office, because I’m tired of the boots.  If my outfit is boring me, but there’s nothing really wrong with it, I’ll put on some crazy shoes or some big earrings (like my sneakers with spikes – I love those).  I have strange jewelry tastes – I either wear tiny stud earrings or costume jewelry that can be seen from space.  All that to say, I’m not great at accessorizing, but I know that changing up accessories can make a difference in how your clothes feel.
6.  Make something.  This is another point that isn’t about clothes, but creating something can really help turn around a listless mood.  Draw a picture.  Sing a song.  Do some sit ups.  Find a recipe that sounds delicious and make it (and have a glass of wine while you cook).  Write down a little story.  Start a blog and share something that you’re interested in (and find out everything that makes you insecure and terrified along the way – like being insecure about stating your opinions in public and terrified of writing….awkward).  Make tea and invite a friend over and then make some good conversation.  Make a list and check things off.
7.  Anticipate and prepare for what you want.  Start planning for what you want and do something about it.  Do you want to be a smaller size?  Time to start an exercise regime and start being more conscious about what you eat.  Longing for spring?  Get daffodils and tulips and scatter them around your house.  Start spring cleaning.  Use that wanting to do good things.  Want to travel?  Start saving up and plan your trip.  In the meantime, find somewhere close by to explore and learn more about.  If you get good at having adventures here, you’ll be great at adventures when you go overseas.  If you feel listless and don’t know exactly what you want, FIND OUT WHAT YOU WANT.  That’s the fun part.  Maybe Step 6 (The Making of All the Thinges) will help you figure out things that you want to get better at.  Don’t just bear with the in-between times – use the in-between times.  Invest your time and make it worthwhile.
Come on, spring.  I’m ready for you.

Investment

Clothing Investments
As we start 2017, it’s a good time to think about wardrobe investments.  Some pieces are worth spending more money on, but with almost unlimited options out there, which ones fit best your budget and your life?  In this post, I’ll try to break down what makes a good investment piece and how to make good money decisions when you are shopping.  It always pays to be smart and disciplined!
There are a couple of things to factor into clothing decisions – the first one to consider is material cost.  Some clothes are expensive simply because they cost more to produce, but they can definitely be worth investing in, especially if they serve an important purpose in your wardrobe.  Wool, silk, leather, and other luxury materials cost more, but if you take care of them, they can last a lifetime.  You pay for quality.  Ask any knitter what it would cost to knit a full-size sweater out of quality wool – the yarn alone would probably be a couple hundred dollars, but you also have to factor in the time it took to make.  So usually the nicer the fabric and the better the workmanship, the more it costs.  But the reverse doesn’t always hold true – you can’t just assume that every expensive item of clothing must be good quality.  Sometimes it is just high-priced garbage.
The second concept to consider is cost per use  – to get an item’s cost per use, divide the initial cost by the number of times you wear that item.  This is all very well and good, you’ll say, but I’m not a prophet – how can I tell now how much I will use something in the future?  One way to figure out what you will wear most in the future is to figure out what you have worn the most in the past.  When you are investing in a piece, bring all your past experience to that purchase.  Here’s a great story from Emily Post circa 1945:
A very beautiful Chicago woman who is always perfectly dressed for every occasion has worked out the cost of her own clothes this way:  One a sheet of paper, thumb-tacked onto the inside of her closet door, she puts a complete typewritten list of her dresses and hats and the cost of each.  Every time she puts on a dress, she makes a pencil mark after its notation.  By and by, when a dress is discarded, she divides the cost of it by the number of times it has been worn.  In this way she finds out accurately which are her cheapest and which her most expensive clothes.  When getting new ones, she has the advantage of very valuable information, for she avoids the kind of dress that is seldom put on – which is a bigger handicap for the medium-sized allowance than many women realize.
When you are investing in a piece, bring all your past experience to that purchase.  Yes – your experience dressing your body gives you a perspective that nobody else has – every struggle to create an outfit before work, every outfit triumph, every body frustration, every “DANG – my rear looks good in these jeans”.  Take all that valuable knowledge and apply it.  I might be buying a wool coat soon – my usual modus operandi is to buy a really funky vintage wool coat at a thrift store or consignment shop and wear it until it falls apart.  But I’m an adult now and it will be good to have a nice wool coat, because in the long Idaho winters, that is the first (and sometimes only) thing people see.  But all my lovely funky thrift store coats have shown me what I need in an expensive coat.
1) The coat needs to have a collar, because I’ve had collarless coats before and you lose a surprising amount of heat from your neck.  I’m already cold enough.  I’m an expat Californian in the frozen north.
2)  It needs to have buttons – none of this open-front-with-a-belt business.  It looks pretty, but when the wind picks up, I want my coat to stay shut with me holding it on.
3)  It needs to be long enough to cover my rear.  My trousers can’t protect it all by themselves.  It needs an extra layer to keep it warm.
So those will be my coat requirements.  What requirements do you bring with you when you go shopping?  Which jeans do you love?  What kind of neckline draws attention to your face?  What sleeve length do you like?
A discussion of cost per use wouldn’t be complete without mentioning bras.  Bras make or break a wardrobe.  If your bra isn’t doing its job well, the rest of your clothes won’t fit right.  If you have never had a proper bra fitting or your size has changed, it is worth it to go get a fitting and a couple of nice brassieres.  They are worth the expense.  Trust me on this one.
I have also gotten to the point where I want to invest in nice shoes – this decision probably would have come sooner if I liked shoes.  But I’m stubborn and I don’t like shoes (probably because I don’t usually get good ones) and nice shoes are expensive…  But the truth is that bad shoes kill your back and can be treacherous in any weather.  Good shoes are a good investment for you and for your physical well-being.  Besides, if you buy a cheap pair of boots every winter, an quality pair that lasts for a long time will be cheaper in the long run.  A couple of thoughts – make sure to invest in the kind of shoes you wear the most.  If you always wear heels, invest in an excellent pair of heels.  If you always wear flats, choose a great pair of flats.  Choose a color that will go well with all of your clothes – if you need a visual reminder, take a picture of your closet and look for the dominant colors.
Imagine your closet is a garden filled with a mix of annuals and perennials.  Annuals need to be replaced every year – these are the inexpensive clothes that you can wear until they disintegrate.  They add color, variety, and punch. All trends and fashion experiments should live in this category until you have made up your mind firmly about them.  Perennials come back year after year, so they should be a delight.  Pulling out your wool coat and leather boots every winter should be as happy as the sight of the first crocus pushing through the snow.  Think about the things you wear the most – those are your candidates for perennials.  Do you wear jeans every day?  It is worth investing in a few nice pairs.  If you carry a purse every day (and odds are that you do), it might be worth looking for a beautiful one that makes a statement.  If you live a warm climate, look for fine cotton and linen.  If you live in the frozen north, look for wool and silk blends.
An investment purchase is not the time for experimentation or impulse buying.  Buy something you know you need, not something you feel like you might need.  If you can’t make up your mind, walk away.  Don’t shop desperate – the clothes can sense fear.  Be shrewd and patient.  Read the inside tags and figure out what that sweater is made of and how to take care of it.  Keep your eyes open in thrift stores and consignment shops and discount stores like Nordstrom Rack, Marshalls, and TJMaxx  – I recently found an Ann Taylor leather jacket in the Salvation Army for less than ten dollars (score!).  Look for things in the “wrong” season – boots are inexpensive in July and swimsuits are inexpensive in November.  Be observant and you can find quality for a great price.  Most importantly, love what you invest in – make sure that the color looks beautiful on you and the shape shows you off in the best way.

It’s the thought that counts

For All Occasions

 

It’s Christmas time – the season with a thousand parties, no money to spend on clothes, and no time to spend shopping for yourself, because you need to shop for everybody else.  Without the right attitude, that can be demoralizing.  Even miserable.  Who wants to be miserable at Christmas?  Nobody.  But the truth is, Christmas is a season that comes with so many expectations (both real and imaginary) that it is easy to get disappointed and miserable.  Any time we have an ideal vision, we have to decide how to react to changes BEFOREHAND.  Because it’s not going to be exactly how you imagine it.  That’s a given.  Do you want a beautiful frosty-snowy-silver-white Christmas?  You can’t control the weather, so decide beforehand what you’ll do if the blessed morning is wet and rainy.  It’s a good experiment in general – nobody wants to admit, “If it is wet and rainy, I will fume inwardly the entire day of Christmas.  Because the day will only be perfect if it snows.  If it does snow, I will be grateful and smile all day with love in my heart for everyone around me.”  I can’t control the weather – the only thing I get to control is how I react to the weather.  (Feeling very convicted right now – this is why I hate blogging sometimes.  I’m sure it’s very good for me and I need it.)
Anyway, long extended weather metaphor – we have a lot of expectations about clothing at Christmas.  In an ideal world, we have a perfect outfit for every party we attend, the perfect hat for caroling, the perfect boots for the snow.  And then winter hits and we have to hit the ground running to take care of everybody else’s clothes and everybody else’s presents and decorating the house.  So decide beforehand how you will react to not having the perfect dress for a Christmas cocktail party, because odds are good that you won’t have exactly what you are imagining.  You can decide to feel dowdy and run-down and boring, because it is the one dress you have and you’ve been wearing it to every party for the last five years, or it is the only dress that fits right now, or it suffers by comparison.
Okay – COMPARISONS.  That can be a real season-killer.  With Instagram and Facebook, you don’t even have to get to the party to feel ugly.  Do those pre-party selfies get anybody else down?  Does it ever make you want to not go at all?  If your heart drops and you spiritually give up after seeing another girl’s outfit on Instagram, you are dressing to compete.  Don’t dress to compete – dress to show that you are celebrating!  Choose to love what you have to wear.  If you are bored with your black dress, borrow a cool necklace (go ask your grandma – she has cool stuff).  Throw on your coolest jacket.  Pull those shoes out – the fancy ones that you had to buy when you were in that wedding.  There are all kinds of ways to make what you have look different and feel different.  Red lipstick always makes me feel ready to take on the world.  Find one aspect that makes you feel beautiful – that is all it takes.  I’ve gone very general/spiritual/philosophical on this one, so if you ever have any specific questions about how to use what you have, leave a question in the comments section.  I’d love to help you figure out whatever challenges you have – really, it would make my day.
When it comes to Christmas dressing, the most beautiful thing in the world is joy.  Joy comes from receiving unlimited love and having all that love to give other people.  That is what Christmas is all about.  Don’t let a failed vision or an unfulfilled expectation steal anything from you.  Don’t let comparisons with other people steal anything from you.  There is too much to be joyful about.
There is a beautiful verse from a Christmas carol that sums it up.  I’ll leave you with this, because nothing I can write can top it.  Merry Christmas, everybody.  Thanks for reading.
And ye who would the Christ Child greet
Your hearts also adorn,
That it may be a dwelling meet
For Him who now is born.
Let all unlovely things give place
To souls bedecked with heav’nly grace,
That ye may view His Holy face,
With joy on Christmas morn.
-Alfred Burt

Costumes & Someone Else’s Story

Beatrice
What’s the difference between clothes and costumes?  It’s a good question to ask around Halloween (one of the more socially acceptable times to wear costumes around town).  The distinction isn’t between normal and fantastical, because some costumes look like normal clothes and some clothes can look other-worldy or bizarre or fantastically beautiful.  In a performance, costumes are designed to tell stories.  So is the distinction between clothes that tell stories and clothes that don’t?  I’d argue no.
All clothes tell stories, but the difference comes with the story.  Your clothes tell your story.  Costumes tell somebody else’s story.
A helpful experiment is to switch your point of view and pretend to be a costume designer.  This is a happy game for me.  Ever since I was little, costume designer has been at the top of my list of Jobs I Want When I Grow Up.  This is the same list as the glamorous jazz singer… and the Indiana-Jones-but-a-girl museum archivist….and the unflappable secret agent (or all of those in some kind of combination). But clothes came first.  I’ve been obsessed with fashion and costumes for as long as I remember.  Around age 12, I started checking out design history books from the library and studying costume design, focusing on Hollywood from the 1930s to the 1960s and all the famous costumers (Adrian, Orry-Kelly, Cecil Beaton, Edith Head, the list goes on).  Weird hobby, I know.
Once you look from a costumer’s point of view, it’s hard to stop.  I didn’t realize how much I did, until last year, when I went to a local production of Romeo and Juliet and spent most of the play mentally redesigning all the costumes.  Permission to geek out a little bit?
In my dream production of Romeo and Juliet, the set, lighting, and costume design would be centered around two lines.  There’s that one line that everybody knows from the balcony scene, when Romeo asks, “What light from yonder window breaks?  It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.”  The second comes from Friar Lawrence in Act II, “These violent delights have violent ends/ And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,/ Which as they kiss consume…”  Juliet is the rising sun.  Juliet is a consuming fire.  Costume design will help illustrate the arc of Juliet, from the first quiet sunbeams to the scorching destruction of her zenith.
The very beginning of the play would be in shades of gray, because Juliet (the sun) hasn’t appeared yet.  There wouldn’t be color until the moment Romeo sees Juliet at the party.  That moment is dawn.  After that, nothing can stop the sun’s rising.  As soon as Romeo and Juliet meet, it’s the equivalent of a ticking time bomb – that’s what the friar means when he says they are fire and gunpowder.   Juliet would enter in sunshine yellow – a color that connotes youth, innocence, energy, friendliness.  Romeo plays the moon, the counterpart to Juliet as the sun – he would wear shades of gray when he is by himself, because the moon produces no light by itself, it only borrows light from the sun.  When he is with Juliet, his costumes start showing hints of white, because he reflects her light.  By their wedding day, Juliet’s color would deepen to a bright gold and Romeo’s colors would lighten to gray and white – it is their mid-morning.  Then the seeds of violence from the beginning of the play start to sprout and the death counts start escalating.  Romeo is exiled and separated from his light source – he returns to his gray clothes.  During his exile, Juliet grows in resolve and passion – her clothes start showing tinges of red, like flame edges.  At the beginning of the play, she’s the first cool rays of dawn, but by the time Romeo returns from exile, she’s the scorching heat of summer.  She’d burn down the whole world to be with him.  The sun has terrifying power – it’s 93 million miles away and that still seems too close when it beats down at midday.  The play ends at high noon- the height of her beautiful, but destructive power.  She ends in flame red, he ends in black.  Their ending is the explosion that Friar Lawrence anticipated from the beginning – when fire and gunpowder kiss, they are both consumed.
That came from two lines of text and it’s just an example of how much thought goes into designing a world.  A costume designer has to know their characters.  The more detailed the character analysis, the more the costume can tell us.  What do the characters love?  What do they want?  What scares them?  Where do they come from?  How much money do they have?  What colors speak to them?  What secrets are they hiding?  When we’re watching a movie or a play, we agree to play along.  Without our imagination filling in the gaps, it doesn’t work.  The first time we see the main character, we subconsciously fill in their backstory before they say their first line.  That has everything to do with costume storytelling. We invest in those characters for two and a half hours and figure them out by every decision they make – what they decide to say, what they decide to do, what they put on in the morning.
We are used to this judgement process in a movie setting, because that is part of the game.  But how does it work in real life?  We usually try to fight against that impulse. We are told we shouldn’t form opinions based on appearances – don’t judge a book by its cover.  Why not?  When I meet somebody new, they are a puzzle to me.  If I care about them at all, I will invest some thought into finding out who they are.  Unlike the movie character, they didn’t spring into existence when I walked into the room.  They have a real backstory, not one that I assume or make up.  You can never ask all the right questions to get to know somebody, but you can know a lot about somebody by their reactions and their choices.  Be observant and pay attention to people.  Be interested in the real stories around you.  That girl who is taking your order leads a parallel life to you.  Unlike Juliet, she exists all the time.  Juliet exists (very dramatically) for three hours at a time.  So pay her the compliment of wondering about her and her story.  Try to figure out a little bit about who she is.
When we say “don’t judge on appearances”, I think we mainly just don’t want other people judging us.  I know that’s the case for me.  This blog post has worked me over, because I took a step back and asked, “If there was a character who dressed like me in a movie, what would I think about them?”  I didn’t like it.  I cried.  But as long as it teaches you something, don’t avoid it just because it’s hard.
Two big questions to start with:  what does this person love?  What does she fear?  Based on Ashley’s clothes, I’d say that she loves colors and interesting prints and textures and is enthusiastic about her interests.  She loves other people, but she doesn’t get too entangled in other people’s stories.  She doesn’t dress to attract guys, but she’s not dressing to repel them either.  In the movie, she’s the observer, the romantically neutral character – the protagonist’s best friend or an eccentric coworker.  Her main fear is being overlooked and ignored. Being invisible. Her bright colors are to avoid fading into the background.  She wants to be noticed on her own terms – as an interesting person with a sense of humor and things to say.  She’s just scared that nobody cares enough to ask.
So judge by appearances.  Don’t rely on people telling you everything.  Be willing to invest in the lifetime pursuit of learning about people. Make guesses.  Be genuinely interested.  Figure out what they love.  Figure out what they fear.  Just be willing to figure yourself out at the same time.